This one is for the Dunlop crew, who is constantly encouraging me to post new stuff. Thanks ya'll. It's kinda lonely out here and I enjoy hearing that people at least think this stuff is funny. Hopefully when I come home we can have a beer and I can tell you all about it in person, till then here's some music for you to blast and jump around to. :) I was kinda feelin' the stress last night, and here's why:
I have no freedom of communication. It's not like Korea is a bunch of communists or anything, they are actually very nice and quite open and empathetic people. What is not convenient though is the fact that I do not yet have my Alien Registration Card. My ARC is needed for me to do anything, almost like a social security number in the states. In order to register for a phone, I need an ARC. In order to get cable at my apartment, I need an ARC. In order for me to get internet, I have to slaughter ten rams and walk in between them signifying what would happen to me if I was to break the pact then burn them in a holocaust to the lord. OK, so that last one was a lie inspired our biblical father Abraham, but I do actually need my ARC for internet also. I went to the immigration office my first week here and registered to have it delivered, but I still do not have it, and I am kind of hamstrung without it. Luckily we opened a bank account during orientation otherwise I would be seriously screwed in a few days when my first paycheck is supposed to hit. So communication is kind of hard. The only places I can access the internet are here at work where I do most of my blogging, and at a PC bang, where I am surrounded by a bunch of Koreans playing games that I can't even figure out how to access. So I am connected to people at work, but with a strong filter on what I can and can't see. If I haven't made plans by the time I leave, it's either Graham knocking on my door, or me alone for the rest of the night. I do obviously have the option of making the fifteen minute walk to a PC bang, but I don't really like those because they cost about five bucks for a couple hours, and they are very smokey. Apparently no smoking is just a suggestion here. Same with traffic lights, as I almost got ran over the other day while crossing the street when the little green safe to cross light was on. Dude just decided he was gonna run a red light out in front of a school as if it was goin' out of style. So beyond the random facebook chats I have with people, and the several nights out a week I have with the English teachers in my building, it is quite difficult to communicate with people. I do have a phone, and it does text message, but the cost is something exorbitant like half a dollar for one text, so I reserve those texts for family or close friends. That being said, that's about the only stress I am feeling, and I do believe I will be getting my ARC soon, so it's not like it's permanent. It will just be a lot nicer when I don't have to walk for a quarter of an hour to a smokey room where I have to pay to see if anyone left a facebook message for me.
Today in class we went through American culture and basic expressions. First I taught them about common American greetings: "Hello! Hi! How are you? Whats up?" I got one of the classes to say "Howdy!" to which I responded "What's up?" and they said "Nossing!" Gotta love it. Had a kid stop me the other morning and say "Teacher. Free hugs" and give me a big hug. Good times, good times. After we finished the greetings, and I explained to them that these were things you do with friends, not with bosses or those of superior station, I showed them how to high five. Most of them had done it before, but some were pretty shy to be highfiving a teacher. That quickly left. After highfiving I showed them the turkey. They were pretty amused by that so we moved on to fist bumping. They loved the fist bump. Especially the snail, the snowman, the squid (also called the jellyfish), and of course, locking it up. They loved this. All the kids were eating it up, and the teachers were just laughing away as the kids practiced amongst themselves. We then did some basic question and answer stuff where I asked them what they wanted to do when they got older, and what their favorite music and bands were. I even had time for a little new american music. When that was all over I asked them what American music they wanted to listen to, and the resounding answer from boys and girls alike was "Justin Bieber - Never say never." I thought for sure I had gotten away from him when I left the states, but to no avail. I think my favorite part was when a few of my students answered the favorite music question with "Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven" and another with "Metallica - Master of puppets" and the final one with "AC/DC - Thunderstruck." I was seriously impressed with their knowledge of rock.
So the town keeps getting smaller and smaller. I always forget if I have told you about certain things yet, so stop me if I have. There are these things called toast sandwiches here. In my town alone there are two of them within about a block from each other. Sukbong toast and I think the other one is called Double toast. Well they are delicious. They toast up two pieces of bread, and then throw some egg, cheese, sausage, ham, veggies, whatever you want, depending on your order. Well I would guess I average about 1 to 1.5 of these delicious concoctions a week. I went in to one last night and the lady served me, then spoke to me in Korean because I was the only one in there. "I haega andwayo" (i dont understand) I said. But the she said something I did understand. "Maegoe Seonsingnim" (Maegoe teacher). "Nej! Chonin seonsingnim Maegoe!" Maegoe is the name of the girls school I teach at. It was then only a short leap to understand that apparently I teach this womans daughter in one of my classes. Perhaps even two. I think also from my limited understanding of the conversation that her husband owns the other toast sandwich place at the other end of that short road. I can only imagine the conversation that went on when she found out it was me who had come in to her store. "Mom! I met Hagrid today!" "That's nice dear." "He teaches me English!" "Wait. Is he huge, and has a beard, and ravages bee-hives for their honey?" "Yes! That's him!" "Oh my gosh, I served him a toast sandwich the other day and he devoured it. I am lucky that he was not hungrier, and that he did not decide to turn his appetite upon me!" At least that's how that conversation went in my mind. I have made friends with the local "buy the way" convenience store clerk. He is quite intelligent. Here from China, he speaks Chinese, Korean, and quite a bit of English. He is very kind, and apparently the reason he is here is because he is a Tae Kwon Do master. I bet that kid eats his kimchi every day.
I try and bow to everyone around here that makes eye contact with me. EVERYONE. This means that I am bowing on average thirty or forty times a day. I once heard someone say that if you are polite and say hi to everyone that you will get a good reputation as being respectful. I desperately want this reputation, because even in the week I've been here I know that I have made soooooo many faux pas already (not to be confused with faux paws, which as a bear I do not condone.) I have shaken hands with only one hand, even with the principal/priest *cringe*. I have turned down things when people have offered them to me. I have turned down invitations to coffee because I don't drink coffee. I must look like a giant uncouth bastard to these people. I am hoping they realize though that I really just don't know much about etiquette. Already I have changed to grabbing my forearm when I receive things or give things, as this is considered just as acceptable as receiving or giving with both hands on the object. Sometimes the object is too small or hot or something and you can't grab it with both hands. Anyway, I am trying, and hopefully that will be reflected in my attitude.
I figured it would be nice to tell you about my bathroom too. It's a funny setup by western standards. It is a big tile room with a mirror and sink and toilet. There is no shower, just a nob attached to the sink that goes to a removable shower head in the corner. The water has two temperatures: arctic winter and molten lava. There is no in between, but I have recently found out if I don't let my water heater pre-heat the water, the lava is a lot more manageable. I have to watch out where I am pointing the spout, because the other day I accidentally sprayed a roll of toilet paper making it useless till it dried, and there is an electrical outlet hanging precariously about a foot and a half from where I stand to shower. I am not to crazy about this hanging electrical outlet, but I don't really want to go grabbing at it or anything, so I guess it's just gonna chill out for a while right where it is. Strangely enough I haven't even come close to spraying it with water. The same heater that I use for my shower is apparently going to be used for my apartment heating when winter comes. There are pipes that run through the floor, and you put hot water into them to heat your apartment from the bottom up. It's kinda cool I guess. The air conditioning is not a central unit, so in one corner of my ceiling there is this big box that I turn on with a remote control. I do have double windows and a very small studio, so it's not like there is a whole lot to cool. I can make the place go from sauna to ice box in about ten minutes with the help of the giant rotating fan my co teacher bought me the first day.
As I said in the last post, there will probably not be a whole lot to talk about that is new, so I may have to wait till the weekend for another update. We will see. Perhaps I will meet some new character or injure myself in some hilarious way. All in all, this still feels like a paid vacation as Ashley Walton said, and I am enjoying the hell out of this low pressure educational environment. I feel light years away from where I was before. I am sure a lot of it is because I simply am not responsible for any sort of grading, and basically can't communicate with anyone, but it is really nice to just be able to sit back and enjoy life instead of constantly looking over my shoulder to see where the next threat is coming from. That is no way to live, and if you are living that way, I suggest you either come join me in Korea, or try a radical life change of your own.
When did you start ravaging beehives for their honey?
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