The title of this post means "Good man, bad man, strange man". It is the title of a movie that kind of parodies "The good the bad and the ugly" and stars one of my favorite Korean actors Song Kang Ho. You can find the entire movie on Youtube if you want to watch it. I titled my blog post this because today I want to talk about racism.
This weekend I was in Bundang visiting Justin like I seem to do on a regular basis. We decided that we would go to Gangnam and get some delicious pizza, which we have done several times before. We meet our friend Sammi Han in the subway and are lined up to get on the red line. As we are standing there in line, minding our own business, a man approaches Sammi. At first it looked like he was trying to hit on her. She is a good looking young woman and he approached with his phone out and open. He was wearing sunglasses (yes wearing sunglasses in the subway) and a sport jacket. He looked to be about fifty years old and was not really out of the ordinary for many Koreans you would see that were his age. I was able to follow some of the beginning of their conversation. He asked her if she spoke Korean, then if she was Korean, then if she was a student, then if she was dating us, then I lost the conversation. It was quite obvious from his tone and Sammis body language that she was uncomfortable with what he was saying. She relayed to us that he was being rude and was talking about us. He walked to the back of the line waiting to get on the subway car and said lots of curse words that I didn't understand. Justin and Sammi were kind of agitated saying "Dude, he is totally talking shit about us." "Let him talk." I said. It didn't really bother me if he was saying bad things about me that I couldn't understand. I would have really only had a problem if he had been up in my face or laid hands on someone. I did however feel my temperature start to rise. Right when I thought I might actually be angry, this guy tried to curse in English. "Fucking balls!" he said directing it towards us and thinking it was an insult. I lost it. It was probably the funniest thing I have ever heard a Korean say, add that to the nervous tension created by all the other Koreans around him and it made me laugh out loud. I imagine he didn't like that, but I dunno. On the subway car he sat on the other side and a seat row over and kept staring daggers at us. Sammi related that he had been telling her that she was a disgrace and that she shouldn't be friends with foreigners. I find this especially funny because she is from right outside Atlanta. He kept staring on and off for about twenty minutes or so and then decided it was his stop to get off. Instead of exiting the door next to him he walked past and towards us. I thought he was going to try spitting or something but instead he walked past and said "Dirty" to Sammi. He exited the subway car and I didn't see him walk away, so I was prepared for him to throw something or shout something right when the doors were closing. Instead he waited till the doors closed and walked up to the window opposite us. He held up his camera to take a video, then gave us the finger. I am like ninety percent sure he wanted us to give him the finger back so that he could post it to some website and make a big deal about how foreigners are trash. Instead I smiled and waved hello to him. It was a dark subway, so if he does post it, he will just have me waving at him with a reflection in the background of him giving me the finger. We met up with Albert, Sammis boyfriend, at the pizza place and he made some comments about how he would have smashed the guys phone or gone looking for him, but that is not an option for Justin and myself in a country who will deport you in half a second.
We laughed and we joked about this because in all honesty it was more funny than scary. It is a good story to tell people, and honestly makes me a lot more empathetic to those at home in Texas who have to deal with racism on a daily basis. The one thing that we talked about though that does seem to stick with me is the reaction of the crowd. Not a single person said anything. There were maybe eight other Koreans in line behind us and not a single one of them said anything. Why? I think there are a few reasons. One, Korea is a pretty homogenized nation and honestly why would you side with some foreigners when you could side with your own people? I think that is the worst explanation. Two, crowd mentality. It wasn't a situation that was directly affecting anyone in that line so why get involved in a conflict that isn't yours to be involved in? Especially if the dude who is starting it is an ignorant belligerent ass hat. I think this is a good explanation but it has one serious flaw, at one point the dude who was cursing kind of nudged the guy in front of him and was like "ya know what I mean?" and the guy in front of him who was much younger but had maybe half a foot in height on me was like "yeah, yeah, sure." If there was any time for anyone to stand up to this guy it would have been when he was soliciting public opinion on the matter of "the dirty foreigners at the front of the line scandal." The third and I think most plausible explanation is Confuscianism. Simply put it is outside of Confuscian standards to even talk to a stranger without reason, much less arguing with a stranger that is older than you. Add in all those other factors and it really is no surprise why that happened. As white people me and Justin would have had no problem telling this guy to go to hell back in America if we saw him picking on some foreigners, and in fact if you go back in my blog you can see instances where I have stood up to Westerners looking like jackasses on a regular basis. It is different here in Korea though. Sammi even said later "I wanted to tell him to stop saying these things but it would have been weird to use that tone with an elder." Granted Sammi is as sweet as a big piece of Georgia Peach Cobbler, but if the girl who is being targeted by the verbal attacks can't even say something, what makes you think that six or seven people who don't even know us and will never see us again want to get involved. Especially because they were even younger than us. I have seen drunk old men on a bus shout obscenities at the busdriver and no one but the old mans wife has even tried to stop him. I have seen babies cry and cry and cry on a bus and no one say a single word. This is a society built around non-interference. You respect your own social responsibilities and most of the time that means turning a blind eye to some sort of conflict or situation.
All of this being said I think it is pure cowardice to not stand up to someone like that. I am only saying I understand the rationale behind the cowardice, not that I agree with their actions. Also I would like to point out here that this is basically the first time someone like that has reared their ugly head in such an obvious way around me.
Now, a conflicting point of view that I want to bring to light. Watch this video to compare it to what I am talking about. If you can't watch it I will give you a brief synopsis. Girls line up to see a band. They are very enthusiastic. At the very end of the video one comes forward and smacks the girl holding the camera. Since I assume you don't understand Korean I will do a little basic translating for you "Hajimaaaaaaa" means "Stooooooop." What the Korean girls are saying from about forty seconds on is basically yelling at this girl to stop taking pictures. Then the girl goes over and films someone who has been knocked over several times (the first time she goes down is 0:38). Korean girls don't like their picture being taken in general much less by a stranger on the street who is seeming to be delighted by their misfortune. Is it right that the girl came out and slapped her? Of course not. Surely you can see how one is provoked where as ours is just some random guy coming up and trying to start an argument. In this case I side with Korea. There is a difference between being an obnoxious foreigner and just being a foreigner. Often times the difference is subtle, but it revolves around observing and understanding the culture and the language, and most importantly, knowing your place in the hierarchy. I am sure if we would have returned a volley of curse words then public opinion would have been in his favor quite quickly. The weekend was capped off with Michael giving me some examples of things that translate but don't translate. This guy Danny who lives above me has a Korean girlfriend and the other day he joking told her to shut-up. She was shocked and had one of those sharp intake of breath moments. Also I have heard this before but apparently he had not, that the word crazy here is like rather taboo. In America if you call someone retarded it is quite the insult and has a lot of stigma. Crazy is that same way here. Apparently Danny said it and his girlfriend was like "that is NOT something that you call your girlfriend." Those stories are just little examples but they bring a point, some words have different meanings within the same language if you were to just go from country to country, some words have vastly different meanings even though the literal translation is the same from one language to another. Over here they sort of throw around the word "pervert" very jokingly, but at the same time they are much more relaxed about the idea of perverts even existing. The other day I was giving out stickers as four middle school girls stood next to me and rubbed my arm hair. Two years ago I would have been totally freaked out by that and noped right out of the situation. Now it happens so often and to so many foreigners across the board that it doesn't bother me. Even some of the other teachers have done it. Back in America you would never dream of hugging a high school student. Over here teachers and students hug the hell out of each other. Back home if you complimented a man you could be mistaken for being gay. Over here you can walk down the middle of the street holding hands with a dude while you both carry rainbow umbrellas and pick the little falling flower blossoms out of each others hair and no one would even look twice. It is just a different culture with different standards and you kind of have to feel your way through it. I am sure there are much better examples of this but I am in a bit of a rush so forgive me.
I want to conclude this by saying for every one old racist dude I have met on the subway, I have met 1,000 excellent and beautifully minded Koreans who struggle every day to learn our language and our culture simply because they are wonderful and curious people. I need look no further than my own co-teachers to find examples of wonderful individuals, and even in the last week I have made knew Korean friends that I am excited about getting to know.
Since this post was a little heavy I am going to leave you with a trailer for that movie ;) Check it out. The director recently made his American debut and it is just a generally well done film.
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